Sjećam se prvih dana kada sam počeo sa psihoterapijom i straha koji je stalno bio ispred mene. Kada bi samo osobe sa kojima sam radio znali da sam se ja njih plašio mnogo više nego oni mene ili samog terapijskog procesa. Zamislite da svi imamo istu tajnu, i ne znajući skrivamo je misleći da smo mi posebni i odabrani jer imamo tu tajnu!?
Godine polako prolaze, broj osoba sa kojima sam radio se povećava, ali strah nije nikad nestao. Danas niti želim da potpuno nestane, jer me strah drži na oprezu, jer me strah čuva od arogancije, jer me strah tjera da nikad ne prestanem učiti i razvijati se! Strah više nije ispred mene, on je pored mene sa svakim klijentom sa kojim radim…
Riječi koje su mi posebno pomogle, i koje često citiram mlađim kolegama kada imaju slične strahove:
“When I was younger and training to become a therapist, trying to help people who were very distressed, I used to say to my supervisor that my patients would be so much better off having somebody with far more experience than I had. To some extent, that was clearly true. However, my supervisor, who was a wise and gentle older lady, pointed out that this was the essence of life. We can live life in the ‘if only’ lane or make the best of it and appreciate where we are right now. So the question for me was not ‘How can I have 20 years’ experience on Day 1?’ because that wasn’t possible. Everyone has to walk exactly the same road as I was walking, from being inexperienced to experienced. There is no other way. Rather the question she wanted me to ask myself was ‘How can I be the best young, inexperienced therapist I can be, given my limitations?’ Because that was all there was for these individuals – there was no one else. It was a harsh lesson in some ways but it helped me confront the reality of my limitations: I could only be what I could be.” Paul Gilbert – The Compassionate Mind